Lutefisk

I thought for a while about whether I wanted to write about Lutefisk, but I decided it deserved a place on this site. I’ve been exposed to lutefisk several times, but have always managed to escape without having to eat it. This Scandinavian dish, some say Norwegian, others Swedish, still others call it Finnish, is fairly common in the Midwest where there are loads of Lutherans.

Preparation is simple. Take some dried whitefish and soak it in cold water for about a week. The fish is then treated with lye. Yes, the corrosive dangerous compound. To make the fish edible, since it is now also caustic, it has to get soaked in water for another. It is then cooked. The result is both fishy and gelatinous, while still tasting of, guess what, lye.

I am somewhat hesitant about eating foods that need to have the toxic compounds rinsed off of them before they can be consumed. I am also wary of fish that can be described as “jelly-like”. It smells bad. It looks bad. Conclusion? It is bad.

Should you eat this? Do you like fish that can be described as gelatinous?

Have I personally tried this? No.

Available at any Minnesota family reunion or holiday dinner.

Lobster Potato Chips

Today I have a horror for you that I have actually eaten. Living on the east coast, lobster is not the high-end fancy food that you use to set the scene for important occasions. No, here it is eaten cold as picnic fare. It’s also eaten in potato chip form. Yes, gentle reader, you read that correctly. Lobster potato chips.

I don’t eat seafood normally, but I have tried these in the past and will happily relay my fond memories to you.

The chips come in a double wrapped bag because their odor is so incredibly pungent. They have a distinct rotten fish smell that is enough to turn any sailor’s stomach, and unsurprisingly taste much as you would expect. Salty, fishy, gag-inducing, all in one convenient bag. The good news is that these probably don’t contain actual lobster, as far as I can tell from the label. The bad news is that there is some manufactured compound that tastes like spoiled seafood. I’m glad I wasn’t the tester for that.

Should you eat this? No. Not ever. Not even if you like lobster.

Have I personally tried this? Yes. 

Hákarl

Let me set the stage for you. You’re a Viking, hanging out in Iceland, and you really want to eat some shark. But you want the shark to be special. Maybe you’re giving it to your lady-Viking companion. Whatever the case, just cooking it won’t be good enough. No, let’s really do some crazy stuff to this shark. You bury it for six to twelve weeks, then hang it up in your shark-meat curing shed for some months. Four or five ought to do it. Yeah, now we can eat it. Yum.

People actually enjoy this rotten shark extravaganza. It’s popularly sold all over Iceland. Anthony Bourdain, noted for eating just about anything said that this was the “single worst, most disgusting and terrible tasting thing”. I suppose it’s an acquired taste.

Should you eat this? I guess if you want to after hearing that delightful description of its creation.

Have I personally tried this? Not yet.

Bonus: Watch Gordon Ramsay try to eat this thing here.