Svið

From the majestic glacier paradise known as Iceland, you get Svið. What is Svið, you ask? It's a sheep's head, seared so as to remove the hair, and then cut in half to be boiled.

This is like a scene out of The Godfather brought to your table. It's also great if you want to instil a healthy fear of sheep in small children. Other than that, I don't have a huge problem with this. I don't want to eat it, but it's like any other cut of meat, I suppose.

But Iceland is so far away, you say. Well you're in luck. It's also available in Iraq and other middle eastern countries called pacha.

Should I eat this? I am confident you won't die.

Have I tried this? Would you believe it if I said I googled places locally that would serve this?

Whole Chicken in a Can

Chicken. It’s delicious. It’s a staple in the diet of many, many different people. I am not trying to discourage anyone from eating chicken. I am trying to discourage you from eating a whole chicken in a can. You do get that whole chicken, intact, bones and all. It's not like the little cans you use to make chicken salad.

I'm paraphrasing what I have been led to believe from several Amazon reviews. It appears that the best way to approach this is to chill it before you open it so that the collagenous goop surrounding the whole chicken will cling to it for easy use. I'm already sold.

The best part? This is without giblets. Just imagine the magic of the whole canned chicken, complete with entrails. Yum.

Should you eat this? I am led to believe that you can boil the shit out of until it makes a pretty good chicken soup, collagenous goop and all. Otherwise, no.

Have I personally tried this? Maybe the next time I get the flu and require soup.

For the low price of $12.95 per can, available in four packs, check here.

Thousand Year Old Egg

We have all heard of the Thousand Year Old Egg, which obviously cannot be a literal thousand years old. So how do you make this delightful thing? Take an egg from whatever bird tickles your fancy and cover it in clay mixed with other compounds such as ash, salt, and lime (not the fruit). Then, like many foods you can eat but should never eat, it gets left to its own devices for several weeks to months.

So what does it taste like? You guessed it, ammonia. Obviously some people like this taste, but it doesn’t matter how you slice it: you are eating a rotten, rotten egg.

Should you eat this? People all over Asia do and they haven’t died yet. But do you want to eat a rotten urine-flavored egg? Do you?

Have I personally tried this? Nope, but I’m going to start trying to obtain some of these foods.

Casu Marzu

Another icky traditional dish for you today. I like cheese. I like cheese a lot. But this cheese is a step too far. Casu marzu is known all over as being gross. So gross that is was banned by the EU. A perfectly normal pecorino cheese has its rind cut off and is left outside for a while so that flies have a chance to get at it. The flies lay their eggs in the cheese which then hatch into maggots. The maggots eat the cheese, making it soft and fermented. It is then eaten. Some people take the maggots out before they eat it. Most people just eat it, larvae and all. You have to be careful though, because the larvae can jump out of the cheese at you. Great, a food that fights back.

Apparently it can leave an aftertaste in your mouth for up to twelve hours. Like other foods (common theme, I suppose) this apparently tastes strongly of ammonia. 

Should you eat this? While one could debate the use of insects as a protein source, I’m thinking you should eat the pecorino before it gets infested.

Have I personally tried this? No.

Cheesburger in a Can

Behold, another gift that comes in a can. Today’s delightful offering comes from the Swiss company Trek’n Eat. TNE makes “food for your outdoor life”, as well as disaster preparedness dishes. Among these is this cheeseburger.

To eat this cheeseburger, because no one likes a cold cheeseburger, the entire can is dropped into a pot of boiling water for 10 minutes. Then you’re good to go. Yeah, the whole cheeseburger is in there, bun and all.

Did I mention the fixins? This product comes complete with mustard, ketchup, onions, and pickle fragments already on the burger.  There is no possible way that this doesn’t become a soggy mess between the canning and the steaming. Do you want to eat a soggy preserved cheeseburger? I certainly don’t. I suppose if you were lost in the woods, far from civilization, this could be edible. 

Should you eat this? Only if you get lost trekking up Everest.

Have I personally tried this? No. I’m a little more gourmet than this on my outdoor expeditions.

Available online, among other delicious edible boil and eat meals at trekneat.com. The website is in German, just so you know.

Lutefisk

I thought for a while about whether I wanted to write about Lutefisk, but I decided it deserved a place on this site. I’ve been exposed to lutefisk several times, but have always managed to escape without having to eat it. This Scandinavian dish, some say Norwegian, others Swedish, still others call it Finnish, is fairly common in the Midwest where there are loads of Lutherans.

Preparation is simple. Take some dried whitefish and soak it in cold water for about a week. The fish is then treated with lye. Yes, the corrosive dangerous compound. To make the fish edible, since it is now also caustic, it has to get soaked in water for another. It is then cooked. The result is both fishy and gelatinous, while still tasting of, guess what, lye.

I am somewhat hesitant about eating foods that need to have the toxic compounds rinsed off of them before they can be consumed. I am also wary of fish that can be described as “jelly-like”. It smells bad. It looks bad. Conclusion? It is bad.

Should you eat this? Do you like fish that can be described as gelatinous?

Have I personally tried this? No.

Available at any Minnesota family reunion or holiday dinner.