Whole Chicken in a Can

Chicken. It’s delicious. It’s a staple in the diet of many, many different people. I am not trying to discourage anyone from eating chicken. I am trying to discourage you from eating a whole chicken in a can. You do get that whole chicken, intact, bones and all. It's not like the little cans you use to make chicken salad.

I'm paraphrasing what I have been led to believe from several Amazon reviews. It appears that the best way to approach this is to chill it before you open it so that the collagenous goop surrounding the whole chicken will cling to it for easy use. I'm already sold.

The best part? This is without giblets. Just imagine the magic of the whole canned chicken, complete with entrails. Yum.

Should you eat this? I am led to believe that you can boil the shit out of until it makes a pretty good chicken soup, collagenous goop and all. Otherwise, no.

Have I personally tried this? Maybe the next time I get the flu and require soup.

For the low price of $12.95 per can, available in four packs, check here.

Candwich

Making sandwiches is so difficult! You have to put things in between bread! That takes so much effort! Wouldn’t it be easier if you could just open a can and it be done? Available in either PB&J or BBQ Chicken, the Candwich solves this problem forever!

While I do love made-up words, the Candwich truly repulses me. It takes lazy to a whole new level to send your kid to school with a sandwich that came in a can, which is precisely what this is advertised as being good for. But wait, to sweeten the deal, also in the can is a piece of Laffy Taffy. Practically a complete meal. Conveniently the same size as a soda can, the website says that you can find this at your local Walmart. Of course it would be for sale there.

For full disclosure, I’ve eaten canned bread before. Once upon a time, I was a connoisseur of military MREs (seriously), and the bread in those things would be more than a couple years old. I wouldn’t recommend eating that either. It isn’t the bread that bothers me. It’s the filling. Year old BBQ chicken encased in bread? Yikes.

Should you eat this? You could probably safely eat the PB&J. It’s probably not bad. BBQ Chicken though? Steer clear.

Have I personally tried this? Nope.

Available here, in packs of 4 or 24. It's quite the bargain with 4-packs running you $8.